John Oliver: Donald Trump, Rodrigo Duterte Won Presidency? Terrifying!

John Oliver: Donald Trump, Rodrigo Duterte Won Presidency? Terrifying!
Photo Credit: Gage Skidmore via Compfight cc

Philippine Presidential candidate Rodrigo Duterte is a bigger joke than Donald Trump, the host of HBO’s “Last Week Tonight with John Oliver” said. Oliver added that he cannot imagine a world where colorful political figures Rodrigo Duterte of the Philippines and Donald Trump are Presidents. It will be absolutely “terrifying!”


Oliver does not like Donald Trump. But he certainly thinks Trump is not the most evil of them all. For him, those who think that do not know Philippines’ Rodrigo Duterte.

To have Trump as a nominee for president may have made the United States a laughingstock, but the “Trump of the East” made Trump look slightly better, Oliver said, as reported by the Daily Beast.

“Obviously, the big news here in the U.S. is that Donald Trump is now the presumptive Republican nominee for president,” Oliver said on Last Week Tonight. “That’s right, this sentient circus peanut now holds the future of a major political party in his tiny, raccoon paw-sized hands—which is frankly a little surprising because the Internet repeatedly tells me I had ‘destroyed’ and ‘eviscerated’ him. Why would they say that if it wasn’t true?”

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Oliver then went on to explain why Americans should not be depressed with this by comparing Trump to Duterte. According to the host, Duterte is the only person on the political arena more outspoken and colorful than Trump.

“Duterte routinely kisses his female supporters, once called the pope a ‘son of a bitch,’ all of which has earned him a reputation of the ‘Trump of the East’—a title previously held by a burnt wonton covered in scarecrow pubes,” Oliver relayed.

“Duterte has also suggested, if elected, he would kill five criminals every week—which may not be an idle promise as since he’s been there, extrajudicial death squads have reportedly killed over a thousand people. And while he denies any involvement in that, he does admit he has blood on his hands,” he added.

He then showed a news clip of Duterte making a public admission that he killed people in the past.  “Yes, of course. I must admit I have killed,” Duterte told the interviewer. “Three months early on I killed about…three people.”

“I’m sorry…about three people? That’s not good!” exclaimed Oliver. “Not knowing how many people you’ve killed is like not knowing how many Vicodin you took: If you don’t know the exact number, the answer is way too fucking many.”

Oliver then rehashed the controversial rape joke that Duterte made over the Australian missionary who was gang-raped and murdered in Davao and said Duterte is a “fucking asshole” who undoubtedly “meant every word” of the joke he made.

“OK, let this be a lesson to all of us: When we say I just want a politician who will tell me what he really thinks, we should specify that that politician should not be a total fucking monster,” said Oliver.

Oliver then suggested that nothing is scarier than both Trump and Duterte winning their respective countries’ elections and one day shaking hands in “an official state visit.” Oliver referenced a previous picture of Duterte shaking Trump’s hand in the Oval Office to accompany his statement.

Oliver might be on to something. As reported by CNN, Philippine Elections 2016 is already underway and Duterte is already tipped to win the elections. Two “Trumps” in this world is just going to be too much, it seems.

Also read: Meet The Philippines’ Donald Trump, Rodrigo Duterte