Miscarriage is a painful topic. How does a father deal with a miscarriage? Read on.
Kyle Buchanan shared this emotional story on Upworthy. It was a difficult topic to talk about, often kept as a “dark” family secret. Common reasons for avoiding the topic are shame, guilt, fear, and depression.
But Buchanan took a different road and openly discussed how their family cope with a miscarriage. This is his story.
As first-time parents, the Buchanan couple eagerly awaits the arrival of their new baby. They feel everything is just “perfect.”
They had been thinking of names, imagining the baby’s room and scouting for baby items.
“We hadn’t planned on telling anyone until the first trimester was out of the way since the most risk typically occurs during this time period,” he related.
But one night, his wife felt distressed after seeing blood discharges. They called on their doctor and an appointment was set the following day.
Blood samples were taken to check the baby. The doctor said the baby has a heartbeat but it was faint. They went home and continued with their day.
A call came in the evening. It was a message they would have wanted to ignore.
“They told my wife that it wasn’t a viable pregnancy and there was nothing they could do. She could take pills or let her body do the work. We said goodbye to our friend and went home,” Buchanan recalled.
Through it all, he stayed by his wife’s side and supported her. He explained that he could not understand what her wife is going through but he remained her best emotional support.
What did he learn from the experience?
“As men, we’re often so sure we should be strong that we don’t show emotion. But I will share what I learned in that moment when we got the news: It’s OK to cry. It’s OK to let someone else pick you up,” he said.
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